THE LAMP ---- PAGE # 7







A motorist had a flat tire in front of an Insane asylum.  He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain.  A patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take on bolt from the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.

The motorist thanked him profusely and said, "I don't know why you are in that place".    The patient said, "I am here for being crazy, not for being stupid".


A man approached a local in a village he was visiting.  "What's the quickest way to York?"  The local scratched his head.  "Are you walking or driving"?, he asked the stranger.   "I'm driving".  That's the quickest way!"


A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policemen behind her.  Instead of slowing down, she pick up speed.  When she looked back again, there two police following her.  She shot up to 90 miles.  The next time she looked back, there were three officers following her.

Suddenly, she stopped at a gas station ahead.  She screeched to a stop and ran into ladies room.  Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out.  The three policemen were standing there waiting for her.   Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet non OT you thought I would make it".


A drunken man staggers into a Catholic Church, sits down in a Confession Box and says nothing.  The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.  Finally, the bewildered Priest coughs to attract the drunk's attention, but still the man says nothing.  The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.  Finally, the drunk replies.   "No us knocking, pal, there's no paper in this One either".


There is a large group sardarjis celebrating in a bar.  A man walks into the bar and asks what the fuss is all about.   One of the sardarjis says, "We've just put together 100 piece jigsaw puzzle in under six hours".  The man says, "So what's the big deal'.  The sardarji replies, "On the box it says from 3 to 5 years".





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