GALLERY # 7
|TAKING GOOD CARE
IA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the
doctor called the wife into the office alone. He said, "Your husband is
suffering from a very severe condition brought on by stress.... if you don't do the
following, he will surely die. You must fix him a healthy breakfast, lunch an dinner
every day. Keep the house spotless and do not burden him with ANY chores. Do
not discuss your problems with him or cause him any grief. After 10 - 12 months of
this, his stress should be relieved and he should be fine....." On the way
home, the husband asked the wife, "Honey, what did the doctor say to you?" She
replied, "He said you're going to die......."
|A SIMPLE PRAY
A country preacher decided to skip services one
Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a
perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling
down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the
other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs. That was the good news. The
bad news was the ferocious bear was charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't
move. "Oh, Lord", the preacher prayed, "I am so sorry for
skipping services today to came out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me
just one wish ..... please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me.
Please, Lord!" That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees,
clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet.
"Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive......"
A Psychotherapist was enjoying a
growing practice since he had graduated college so much so, that he could now afford to
have a proper sign advertising his services. He told a kid to paint a sign board for
him and put it above his clinic entrance.
Instead of his business building
up, it declined steeply. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his
clinic after reading the sign. So he decided to check it out for himself.
One look and he understood why.
The boy only found a small wooden board to paint the sign and he had split the word
"psychotherapist" into the 3 words. His new sign reads: Psycho-the-rapist.