In the days when you couldn't count on a public facility
to have indoor plumbing, an English woman was planning
a trip to Germany.

She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned
by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether
the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom
is commonly called a WC which stands for water closet.
She wrote the schoolmaster inquiring into the location of the
nearest WC.

The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local
priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they
pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded
that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel"
near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.
So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,
I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located
9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove
of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of
holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays.
As there are many people expected in the summer months,
I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing
room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in
the habit of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married
in the WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a
wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was
wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. My wife, sadly,
has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year
since she went last, which pains her greatly.

You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch
and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute
and arrive just in time! I would recommend your ladyship plan to
go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The
acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can
be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person
enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all
since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting
you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be
seen by all.

With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster



A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take
pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small
plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before
sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He
jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense
man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and
soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer,
"and make several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous
pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the
photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"




ISDN :It still does nothing
SCSI :System can't see it
DOS :Defective operating system
BASIC :Bill's attempt to seize industry
IBM :I blame microsoft
DEC :Do expect cuts
CD-ROM :Consumer device, rendered obsolete monthly
OS/2 :Obsolete soon, too
WWW :World wide wait
PENTIUM:Produces erroneous numbers through incorrect
understanding of math
COBOL :Completely obsolete business oriented
AMIGA :A merely insignificant game addiction
LISP :Lots of infuriating silly parentheses
MIPS :Meaningless indication of processor speed
WINDOWS :Will install needless data on whole system
MICROSOFT:Most intelligent customers realize our
software Only fools teenagers.

All Contributed by:

Adeel Khan, Karachi, Pakistan



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