| A Sardaar Jee had four children. A guy asked him
about his children.
He asked about the first.
Sardaar Jee said, "Sardaar Malvinder Jee". Second, "Sardaar
Dharmender Jee". Third, "Sardaar Guljeet Jee". And fourth
amazingly, "Sardaar CHEN LEE CHINESE Jee".
The guy asked about his, He
replied, "Now a days we sardaars are very up-to-date with the world. There was
a news in CNN that every fourth child born in this world is a Chinese". |
| HAVE YOU UPGRADED YET TO WINDOWS '98????????
If you do, here's a preview of the READ ME FIRST page
Congratulations on your purchase of Windows 98 (c), the latest version of the world's #1
computer operating system from Microsoft.
A) Before using your new software, please take the time to read these instructions
carefully. Failure to do so may further limit the terms of the limited warranty.
Windows 98 (c) represents a significant technological improvement over Microsoft's
previous operating system, Windows 95 (c).
You'll notice immediately that
* "98" is a higher number than "95,"
* a better than 3 percent increase.
But that's not all. Windows 98
(c) contains many features not found in
Windows 95 (c), or in any competing computer operating system, (if there are any of
course).
Among the improvements: faster storing and retrieving of files (not in
all models), enhanced "Caps Lock" and back-space functionality, smoother
handling, less knocking and pinging, an easy-to-follow 720-page User's Guide, and rugged
weather-resistant shrink wrap around the box. Most important, Windows 98 (c) offers
superior compatibility with all existing Microsoft products. We're betting that you'll
never use another company's software again.
Windows 98 (c) comes factory-loaded with the latest version of Microsoft Explorer,the
world's most popular Internet browser. And despite what you may have heard from the U.S.
Department of Justice, Windows 98 (c) offers you the freedom to select the Internet
browser of your choice, whether it's the one produced by the
world's largest and most trusted software producer, or by a smaller
company that will either go out of business or become part of the
Microsoft family.
Configuring Windows 98 (c) to use a browser OTHER than Microsoft
Explorer is easy. Simply open the "Options" folder, click on the "time
bomb" icon, and select "Load Inferior Browser." A dialog box will ask
"Are you sure?" Click "yes." This question may be asked several more
times in different ways and in 12 different
languages ; just keep clicking "yes." Eventually, the time-bomb icon
will enlarge to fill the entire screen, signifying that the browser is
being loaded. You'll know the browser is fully loaded when the fuse on the time bomb
"runs out" and the screen "explodes." If at any time after
installation you become disappointed with the slow speed and frequent data loss associated
with other browsers, simply tap the space bar on your keyboard. Microsoft Explorer will
automatically be
re-installed-permanently.
We've done our best to make using Windows 98 (c) as trouble-free as possible. We want to
hear from you if you're having any problems at all with you software. Simply call our
toll-free Helpline and follow the recorded instructions carefully. (The Helpline is open
every day but Satsun).
If we don't hear from you, we'll assume your software is working
perfectly, and an electronic message to that effect will be forwarded to the Justice
Department. We'll also send, in your name, a letter to the editor of your hometown
newspaper, reminding him or her that American consumers want software designed by
companies that are free to innovate, not by government bureaucrats.
Again, thanks for choosing Windows 98 (c).
Contributed by:
Adeel Khan, Karachi, Pakistan |
What Professors Say and What
They Really Mean
* This assignment needs some minor revision.
I never actually got around to reading this.
* Not much is known about . . .
I don't know anything about .
* My office hours are by appointment only.
I like to get out of here early.
* Bring the text to class.
I don't have a clue how to lecture--we'll just kill time with group
read-along.
* We'll be spending a fair amount of time on this important concept.
This was my dissertation topic.
* The tests will all be multiple-choice.
I take questions directly from the study guide and have senior students do all my grading.
* The final will be comprehensive.
I'll expect you to recapitulate in two hours everything I couldn't fully
cover myself in one year .
* Well, that answer would be beyond the scope of this course.
I haven't a clue.
* Well, it was on the syllabus.
I'll hold you responsible for this even though I forgot about it myself.
* Attendance is required and will be counted in your grade.
I'm so boring that no one would show up otherwise
* This won't be on the test.
Nap time!
Contributed by:
Adeel Khan, Karachi, Pakistan |
THE INSTITUTE OF MIND
SCIENCES PAKISTAN 
