A motorist had a flat
tire in front of an Insane asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he
tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain. A
patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take on bolt from the remaining
three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.
The motorist thanked
him profusely and said, "I don't know why you are in that place".
The patient said, "I am here for being crazy, not for being stupid".
A man approached a local in a village he
was visiting. "What's the quickest way to York?" The local scratched
his head. "Are you walking or driving"?, he asked the stranger.
"I'm driving". That's the quickest way!"
A woman was driving down the highway about
75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policemen behind her. Instead of
slowing down, she pick up speed. When she looked back again, there two police
following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked back, there
were three officers following her.
Suddenly, she stopped at a gas station
ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into ladies room. Ten minutes later,
she innocently walked out. The three policemen were standing there waiting for her.
Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet non OT you thought I would
A drunken man staggers into a Catholic
Church, sits down in a Confession Box and says nothing. The priest is waiting and
waiting and waiting. Finally, the bewildered Priest coughs to attract the drunk's
attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three
times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies.
"No us knocking, pal, there's no paper in this One either".
There is a large group sardarjis
celebrating in a bar. A man walks into the bar and asks what the fuss is all about.
One of the sardarjis says, "We've just put together 100 piece jigsaw puzzle in
under six hours". The man says, "So what's the big deal'. The
sardarji replies, "On the box it says from 3 to 5 years".